Psychology Archives - Tantric Massage London

Sensual Massage forums are used by several of our male clients Sometimes that is how they find about us in the first place. Personally, I was totally surprised when I first discovered that these forums exist and that their ‘raison d’etre’ is to enable punters to share information about the various sensual massage providers that they have visited. I have always felt that a tantric massage session is a personal, private and intimate experience. So it came as a shock to discover that intimate details of the massage were being discussed on an online forum and that personal remarks were being made about me, my surroundings and the masseuses who work here. I discovered that some men enjoy this form of ‘male bonding’ – the transparency and communication and sharing of feedback. There seemed to be an anonymous online camaraderie and a desire to communicate intimate details and to steer other members away from providers who did not live up to their standards – a genuine desire to be helpful to one another. The conversations sometimes become unpleasant and even gross and they often use their own acronyms. Male egos are on full display. I suspect this may be… Read more »

What are you looking for in a tantric massage? From speaking to our visitors over many years, the following seem to be essential: 1.The premises should be beautiful, comfortable, clean and private. You want to avoid a seedy bedsit at all costs, and you do not want to knock into other clients. It is also helpful if the place is easy to find, centrally located and hopefully with parking, taxis or public transport nearby. 2.The masseuses should be talented in their profession, they should have pleasant personalities and enjoy what they do. They should also listen to you and adapt the service to your individual needs. They should be attractive both inside and out. You want to feel that they are being authentic and that you can relate to them as a person. 3. You are looking for the very best service, from the point of view of ease of communication in making the appointment, reliabilty and consistency of quality. You also appreciate discretion and maybe that extra special ‘something’ which cannot be described in words. 4. You do not want to feel rushed or hurried. 5. If you are a regular client,… Read more »

Celeste is now a qualified Sexological Bodyworker. She completed the course (see details in my previous blog article https://www.tantricmassagelondon.com/tantric-massage-and-sexological-bodywork/) and received the qualification because she has been very much in demand for our Tantric Therapy/Tuition sessions for several years now,and she wanted to study the subject in more depth. The idea was to get more knowledge, feedback and a recognised qualification. The t-shirt she received on graduating shows that the organisation has a sense of humour, which is always a plus. Personally, I wasn’t too sure what a Sex Geek is, so I have searched the term and come up with some interesting definitions. The Urban Dictionary definition is: “Someone who takes pride in learning, applying and spreading throughout their lives, accurate sexual health information, effective communication skills and relationship blackbelt knowhow regardless of sexual identity and practices” http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sex+Geek Sex-Positive Podcasts “that helped me realize, I’m a Sex Geek I identify as a ‘sex geek’ It’s a term that was coined and made popular by renowned sex educator Reid Mihalko and I’ve been one since before there even was a term for it…….. ” https://medium.com/@lizandrade/sex-positive-podcasts-that-helped-me-realize-i-m-a-sex-geek-6e21a99aebe9#.jx6j2r26l 10 Ways to become a Sexy Geek Confidence… Read more »

Getting a hard on in public is a very male problem This article is taken from the blog of Ruby Jane May, with thanks to her and to Drew Larson who drew our attention to it. “Coming out: my love of public hard ons.” “There is something about this article that touches me. Male desire is generally something that is boasted about. The more potent you are, the more of a man you are. Unless of course it comes at an inappropriate time or place. There is something about the volatility of arousal and our inability to control it, that gives the publicly aroused man a sense of vulnerability – not something usually associated with male sexuality. Virile easily tips into a sense of being ‘perverted’. Pride into embarrassment. As a woman, observing these images and taking the time to slowly absorb their content, I enjoy the desire they evoke in me. By admiring these delightful displays of obstinate arousal and the interplay between pride and shame, ‘objectifying’ them to an extent, the tables are turned.” What do you think? I wonder how many women think and sympathise with men over… Read more »

‘Tantric Telly: how to heighten box set pleasure’ is the title of an article which appeared recently in the Evening Standard. The word ‘tantric’ is being used in more and more peculiar ways. I can sympathise with editors – there must be a lot of pressure to come up with new and original articles to fill their newspapers. Now they are resorting to using ‘tantric’ as a buzzword with an open-ended range of bizarre meanings. The author’s contention is that by controlling oneself and not gorgeing on all the episodes of our favourite box sets in one go, we heighten the pleasure with delayed gratification. In her words: ‘A few nights ago in a London flat, a twentysomething couple were getting pretty involved. But right as they verged on climax, one suggested lights out for bedtime — leaving things on a cliffhanger. The drama would begin again tomorrow evening, made all the sweeter by waiting. This couple are not the young disciples of a certain Sting and Trudie — though their methods are tantric in approach. This is the practise of tantric boxset: killing the action just when things are about to explode. It’s edging — or “orgasm control” —… Read more »

What do you think about sensuality? Do you consider yourself to be a sensual person? The truth is that we are all sensual beings. This is the way we were intended to be – so that we would be able to feel the multitude of experiences that life is constantly offering us. But throughout time, religion and culture have been in charge of transforming our experience of our own sensuality. At what point in history was it that we, as a whole, decided to become thinking beings instead of feeling beings? I remember this question being raised in the 60’s when an entire generation broke away from the habits of their parents, who were perceived as traditional and repressive, and began to experiment with drugs, new psychological theories, rock and roll, and ‘letting go.’ The idea was to live in the moment, to just be and feel and experience. This is also when the Neo-Tantric movement began to gain popularity. But what is happening today? Have we become more attached to our mobile phones, tablets and apps than to our partners? Have we forgotten how to really connect with others by actually looking them in the eye and experiencing them as… Read more »

To my darling son, I know you have watched porn and I know this is not a conversation any boy wants to have with his mum. So I will spare you from having a face-to-face conversation with me about porn. I would be failing in my duty as a parent, guide, woman if I did not share with you the following information which has the power to impact greatly upon your future sex life and relationships. There is nothing wrong with being interested in sex and this is not a moral question. But it is a proven fact that men who watch a lot of porn have trouble enjoying real sex with real women. And I don’t want you to be that guy – not for yourself and not for your partners. I truly wish you and your generation could have been free to embark on your sex lives free from all the hardcore, soulless, sexist imagery of porn. I wish you could all have had the chance to explore it organically, with all the surprises, the thrills and even the spills. That’s how it was in the olden days – sex for us was a wonderful, sometimes awkward experience… Read more »

Girls everywhere masturbate. Why can’t we talk about it? Is the title of an article in the Telegraph which I found recently while browsing the internet. The author, Rebecca Holman, doesn’t say anything about tantric sex or tantric orgasm, but just plain old masturbation. And it struck me that what she was saying was true. Little by little, over the years, we have become more and more open about what we talk about and what words are allowed on television – and, as the author says, talk about vibrators is fine. We can go and buy them together, and it seems nowadays only a prude would admit to not owning a vibrator. ‘But we never discuss female masturbation on its own, without a purple, glittery, revolving phallus, without a man present, just for the sake of it.’ But men talk about wanking all the time – so why the double standard? It seems that it is the way we talk about it. Its fine to discuss in sex education classes and in relation to products (toys) and messages re. spicing up your sex life. But we don’t talk about how to masturbate. We are the generation that talk… Read more »

This is taken from an article in Huffington Post entitled 10 spiritually transmitted diseases by Mariana Caplan. Those who have been reading the articles in my blog will be aware of my thoughts on developments in the world of tantric massage and spirituality in general, so you may recognise that the thoughts expressed by Mariana Caplan on the subject of spiritually transmitted diseases are totally after my own heart. I wont quote her article word for word, but will include the points which stand out. Faux Spritituality The tendency to talk,dress and act as we imagine a spiritual person would. A kind of imitation spirituality.. Confused Motivations Although our desire to grow is genuine and pure, it often gets mixed with the wish to be loved, the desire to belong, the need to fill our inner emptiness, the belief that the spiritual path will remove our suffering….. Identifying with Spiritual Experiences The ego identifies with spiritual experiences and takes them as its own. The Spiritualized Ego When the ego becomes spiritualized, we become ‘bullet-proof’ and invulnerable to help,new input or constructive feedback. Mass Production of Spritual Teachers No need to say more on this one. Spiritual Pride A feeling… Read more »

On how to slow down I was struck recently by an article written by Carl Honore, on the subject of slow sex.. He writes: ‘The other day a buddy of mine was making love to his new girlfriend when her IPhone beeped with an incoming text message. Like any guy, he hoped she would ignore the alert – or even fail to notice it altogether. The opposite happened. The woman opened her eyes, grabbed the phone from the bedside table and read the message. She then typed out a short reply. “To be fair, she apologised and suggested we go back to the sex” says my crestfallen friend, ” But it was kind of a mood-killer.” Two conclusions can be drawn from an anecdote like this. The first is that my friend maybe needs to brush up on his sexual technique. The second is that his girlfriend’s behaviour reveals something alarming about the way we live nowadays. In this media-drenched, mutitasking, always-on age, many of us have forgotten how to unplug and immerse ourselves completely in the moment. We have forgotten how to slow down.’ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carl–honore/in-praise-of-slow–sex_b_322026.html The reason this article attracted my attention was that this used to happen… Read more »

The above cartoon typifies the ’emotionally unavailable’ man of the 1950’s as depicted in movies and tv programmes like ‘Mad Men’ If we look around today at the younger men who help with the cooking and looking after their babies, it seems that things have changed. But have they really? Maybe age old difference between men and women still exist: Women fall in love with what they hear.. and men fall in love with what they see. Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat. Oscar Wilde. And dozens of articles are still written, giving advice on how to communicate with an emotionally unavailable partner. From the tantra point of view, all this happens because both men and women cannot connect with the love inside themselves. Love in relationship is a purifying process as it reveals the ways… Read more »

The majority of people who come to our Tantric Massage London Kensington clinic, both men and women, come on their own. Sometimes they tell their partner, but the majority do not, because they feel their partner may object, feel jealous, feel insecure, or simply will not understand why they should come to us. However, we are getting more and more brave couples who come together, as a couple, to enhance the sensual side of their relationship. I call them brave, because it does require courage for a woman to have her partner lie on a massage table, and be aroused to orgasm by another woman, even if that woman is a tantric masseuse. In the same way, it takes courage for a man to admit that he could improve his skills and be taught how to give more pleasure to his wife. And they are also brave because, rather than give up trying to work on their relationship,and come to us secretly, they come openly and united as a couple. Once the initial step has been taken, and inhibitions and fears have been set aside, and the appointment has been made, couples do feel so many benefits. Here is… Read more »

Tantric massage for women is far less requested than for men. It seems that the majority of men have few qualms about being adventurous and trying out something new in the feld of sensual exploration. But what about women? Are they more cautious? Are their needs different? There are several tantric groups and workshops available where both women and men can go and take part for a few hours, or for a weekend, or for several weekends, in programmes where they are taught to communicate more clearly and honestly, and to get in touch with their senses and feelings in a more profound and deeper way. But they usually dont get to give or receive a tantric massage until they have progressed and participated in a determined number of these workshops. The clients who come to us are people who want to receive a one on one massage and in the main, are not attracted to participating in a group. But these workshops may be ideal for many other men or women who want to work on different personal issues, or who may initially find the idea of receiving a tantric massage from a total stranger, a little too threatening. Celeste… Read more »

A tantric massage client phoned me a few days ago to tell me about the movie ‘Hysteria.’ I must confess that I haven’t seen the film myself yet, but what interested me in the conversation with our client was that he pointed out how very respectable it was for a woman to go to a doctor in Victorian times, and to receive ‘manual digital relief’ in order to produce a ‘paroxysm of relief.’ The film is about the invention of the vibrator in late-Victorian England. A society doctor administers manual relief to his wealthy female patients as a cure for hysteria. ‘Hysteria’ was a condition ascribed to women and thought to be caused by disturbances of the uterus. It was a catch-all diagnosis for women suffering from anything ranging from a headache to depression to disobedience (the diagnosis was only finally dropped in the 1950’s). The doctor develops ‘masturbator’s elbow’ or carpal tunnel syndrome, and this leads to the invention of the first electric vibrator. The film’s director, Tanya Wexler, says:’ They didn’t consider the treatment sexual, because the husband was not involved. They thought the orgasm, or paroxysm as they… Read more »

I was chatting – or shall we say’ having communication’ with my 21 year old nephew yesterday about the flat which he shares with 4 other guys and 5 girls. He told me that the girls are always quarrelling and have all fallen out with one another, whereas the guys seem to get on much better. When I asked him what he thought the reason was, he said that guys are less complicated – they talk about common interests, like football and if they dont see eye to eye, they just move on to another subject…. I was intrigued by this, and it reminded me of an article I read recently on www.oprah.com entitled: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It “So, I wonder, does this explain why, when I reach out and tell Hugh I’m feeling isolated from him—on the assumption that this will foster closeness—he gets defensive or withdraws? Do my verbal attempts to reestablish intimacy make him feel inadequate? Is that why he gets that glazed look in his eye and is suddenly compelled to watch men tossing balls on TV? When a man feels shamed by a woman’s criticism, his body is flooded with… Read more »

How did I learn to deal with my anger? I went to California Esalen, in northern California, was founded in 1962, and became a centre for the ‘human potential’ movement…It was an institute devoted to the exploration of the world of ‘unrealized capacities that lies beyond the imagination.’ It became known for its experimental workshops, the steady influx of philosophers, psychologists, artists and spiritual thinkers, as well as its breathtaking grounds, blessed with natural hotsprings. The photos above show visitors receiving the renowned naked Esalen massages in the open air and lying in the hot tubs which are so popular there, and all over California. I went to live in California in the 1970’s and became involved in the human potential movement and the psychological experimentation which was so popular at the time. I would go to workshops and bang pillows , raging at my parents, and trying to let out all my anger…….but little by little, I realised that the more I screamed, the more angry I was becoming, and the theory that if only I screamed long and hard enough, all my bottled up anger would disappear, did not seem to stand the test of experience. Gradually, it began to make more sense to experience… Read more »

Tantric Tuition for Women Little girls are brought up with the romantic idea that one day they will meet their knight in shining armour, who will sweep her off her feet, love her for ever, and life will be wonderful ever after. We have been spoon-fed these romantic images, by novels, movies and our culture in general. But the reality, or the inside stories, reveal something very different going on under the surface. Novels like Lady Chatterley’s lover, which was banned when it was first written, have now been read by most schoolgirls. The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is part of our culture….. as is Walt Disney’s Cinderella singing ‘Some Day My Prince will Come.’ We all know about the love life of famous politicians like Robert Kennedy, millionaires like Howard Hughes, footballers, starting with the first ‘pop’ footballer George Best, latin lovers like Rudolph Valentino and Clark Gable, and the most famous womanizer of them all, Casanova. But what is it like being married to these men? They may be able to sweep women off their feet initially, but what happens after that….? It must be very difficult, if not impossible, for anyone to live up to the… Read more »

Part 1 – Tantric Tuition for Men When men come to Tantric Massage London and ask for a tantric tuition session, the two main things they want to learn more about are: 1. Ejaculation Control 2. How to really give pleasure to a woman Ejaculation Control Many men experience concerns with premature ejaculation in some form or another during their life, and hope to learn some techniques to help them to last longer. A large majority find that when they are simply lying on the massage table, with no pressure to perform, their ‘premature ejaculation’ problem disappears, and they are able to last naturally for far longer than they thought, with no special effort on their part. There are several reasons for this. A lot of so called premature ejaculation issues arise from the pressure to perform and please a partner. When that pressure is removed, very often the problem evaporates. We encourage our clients to get in touch with their passive side and experience the feelings and sensation in their body, and to enjoy receiving unconditional touch – where there is no need to respond or reciprocate. In this way,… Read more »

I enjoyed reading this article on why men stray partly because of the underlying humour, and partly also because it highlights some of the paradoxes that we all face in our lives. Here are some snippets from the article: ‘Every man faces the battle between the urge for monogamy and promiscuity…’ ‘The wish to be free and the wish to belong…. the difficult bit has always been balancing the yearning for an impressive sexual CV and the longing for a wife, family and home….’ ‘Some men stay early… some men stray late…. And men spend a lifetime trying to negotiate a peace settlement between these most basic of instincts…’ ‘Some men stray for a bit and then they settle down. That is what many women find difficult to accept … sometimes a man strays not because he is a heartless fornicating bastard, but simply because he hasnt yet met the right girl…’ The author then gives examples of 3 well-known men: – Tiger Woods: ‘ I thought I could get away with everything I wanted to…. I felt I had worked hard and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me…’ – Paul Newman: ‘You dont go out for hamburger… Read more »

Getting in touch with your feminine side has become a sort of truism. In modern times,there have been many ways of describing the union of Shiva and Shakti…. terms like yin and yang, getting in touch with your feminine side, metrosexual have all become popular at various periods during the past 40 years or so. In the 60’s, we saw the beginning of a subconscious mood amongst men to start trying to appear less macho – the Rolling Stones would perform on stage with makeup, wearing flamboyant, feminine blouses … they would be followed in the 70’s by David Bowie’s androgynous alter ego Ziggy Stardust. In the 80’s Alice Cooper recorded the song: ‘ In Touch with your Feminine Side. And in the 90’s the term ‘metrosexual’ man became popular – but all this experimentation also had a certain superficial, materialistic and commercial side. Below is a 1960’s Rolling Stones recording of ‘Angie’. It was the days of ‘Flower Power’ and they are all holding roses, and look quite androgynous, singing a love song to Angie. The 2nd picture illustrates and beautifully explains the true symbolism of Shiva and Shakti , which is far deeper and more far-reaching. It reveals how Tantra can be seen as the union of the masculine and the feminine… Read more »

Posts Categorized: Psychology

Sensual Massage Forums

Tantric Massage – Tell us what is important

Tantric Masseuse – qualified Sexological Bodyworker

Hard on in public

Tantric Telly

Sensuality and the Computer Age

A letter to my son about porn

Girls masturbate. Why don’t we talk about it?

Spiritually Transmitted Diseases

Tantric Massage London – What does it really mean to slow down?

Tantra – and the emotionally unavailable man

Tantric Massage London in Kensington – Part 3 – Tantric Tuition for Couples

Tantric Massage for Women – What do women really want ?

The movie ‘Hysteria’

Thoughts on communication from Tantric Massage London in Kensington

Tantric Massage London- How to deal with anger

Tantric Tuition for Women

Tantric Tuition at Tantric Massage London in Kensington

“Why Men Stray, Why Men Stay ” – Tony Parsons article in GQ magazine June 2010

Getting in touch with your feminine side – what does it really mean…

Blog

Categories

Archives

Call back request