A letter to my son about porn

porn

To my darling son,
I know you have watched porn and I know this is not a conversation any boy wants to have with his mum. So I will spare you from having a face-to-face conversation with me about porn.

I would be failing in my duty as a parent, guide, woman if I did not share with you the following information which has the power to impact greatly upon your future sex life and relationships.

There is nothing wrong with being interested in sex and this is not a moral question. But it is a proven fact that men who watch a lot of porn have trouble enjoying real sex with real women. And I don’t want you to be that guy – not for yourself and not for your partners.

I truly wish you and your generation could have been free to embark on your sex lives free from all the hardcore, soulless, sexist imagery of porn. I wish you could all have had the chance to explore it organically, with all the surprises, the thrills and even the spills.
That’s how it was in the olden days – sex for us was a wonderful, sometimes awkward experience of discovery.

Today, though, by the time you and your friends have sex, you’ll almost certainly have seen hundreds of hours of porn stars going at it in many, many different ways. This will be the visual wallpaper in your mind as you explore your own sexuality and that is truly unfortunate.

There are a few important things you need to know:

Porn is not real sex – these are people having sex for money. It’s their job.

Do not compare yourself to the men you see in porn
– male porn stars are chosen for their giant penises and their ability to maintain erections for a realy long time. Sometimes they use drugs and Viagra to do this.They are also usually always hairless and without pubic hair. This is for the express purpose of close-ups, not because all women prefer hairless men.

Do not compare your partner to the women you see in porn – female porn stars usually have fake boobs that are bigger, and rounder than her natural body type and which point to the ceiling no matter what position she’s in. Regular boobs don’t look or move like that.

Women in porn are faking it – female porn stars are paid to look like they enjoy everything. All of it, not mater how uncomfortable, awkward or painful. They are paid to fake rapture even when they are being degraded or abused or subject to violence. That’s why you must never think that the female responses you see in porn are in any way indicative of the way real women will respond to the same thing.

You don’t want a partner who will fake her enjoyment Real women will generally take a lot longer to warm up than the women you see in porn who are paid to be theatrical and whose ‘pleasure’ is almost always an act.

Porn sex is not indicative of mainstream female taste
– within a loving, consensual sexual relationship, there are no rights or wrongs. Different strokes for different folks. But there are some things porn portrays as enjoyable for all women when in fact many women are not okay with them. Coming on her face is one. Anal sex is another.
Did you know that female porn stars are paid twice as much to have anal sex as they are for vaginal sex? Now you do. And remember what I said about women being paid more for certain types of sex – it means the porn stars need extra incentive. The same goes for spanking, hair pulling or any kind of rough treatment. Just because you’ve seen it in porn, don’t assume it will fly in real life. Always ask first. Never make the mistake of thinking that a girl is into something just because you saw it in porn or because the last girl you slept with liked it.

Porn is made by men for men -that means what you see is usually what men want to do – not what women enjoy.

Taken from: http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/talking-to-kids-about-porn

Other interesting websites:

http://www.makelovenotporn.com

and a website on the science of he harmful effects of porn:

http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/science/