Archive for the 'Tantra philosophy' Category

Esalen, in northern California, was founded in 1962, and became a centre for the ‘human potential’ movement…It was an institute devoted to the exploration of the world of ‘unrealized capacities that lies beyond the imagination.’ It became known for its experimental workshops, the steady influx of philosophers, psychologists, artists and spiritual thinkers, as well as its breathtaking grounds, blessed with natural hotsprings.  The photos above show visitors receiving the renowned naked Esalen massages in the open air and lying in the  hot tubs which are so popular there, and all over  California.

I went to live in California in the 1970′s and became very involved in the human potential movement and the psychological experimentation which was so popular at the time. I would go to workshops and bang pillows , raging at my parents, and trying to let out all my anger…….but little by little, I realised that the more I screamed, the more angry I was becoming, and the theory that if only I screamed long and hard enough, all my bottled up anger would disappear, did not seem to stand the test of experience.

Gradually, it began to make more sense to experience anger as something to be transcended, through deeper understanding of its roots.

I received the following story today from a friend. I think it helps one to deal with anger, and to understand the roots of anger, in a far deeper, more subtle and beautiful way……

Why We Shout When in Anger        – a spiritual story

A Holy saint who was visiting a river to  bathe,  found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples and asked:

‘Why do people in anger shout at each other ?’

The disciples thought for a while, and one of them said: ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But why should you shout when the other person is just next to you?You can just as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner’ asked the saint.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally, the saint explained: ‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to hear each other, to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They dont shout at each other, but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they  need not even whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said:’ So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other even more. Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

Love is blind

Back to one of my favourite themes : LOVE

The great mystics talk about Love - and the true meaning of Love on a Universal level:

‘Taking Love out of the personal sphere of relationship and acknowledging how it is part of creation of a fundamental, cellular level… reclaiming the cellular nature of love, the love that belongs to creation, the energy of life which is love. ….

We have isolated ourselves from the real energy of life, so that life no longer nourishes us. There is a separation of spirit and matter…

The secret of love is I am he who I love and he whom I love is me….. you are divine, you are an ocean of love. There is a secret within us…. call it beauty, peace, compassion, the divine centre of your self… we remember the taste of the inner elixir and we make a relationship with it….

 We think we are searching for something, but that love is within ourself, and it is searching for you.

The secret is that the essence of everything is love…. if you can be present with it, if you can taste it…. This is all latent within us, waiting to be woken up…. but most people dont leave any space for love.

What is this bliss, this sweet intoxication known to lovers of God? What is this bewildering state of the heart in which the mind is dissolved and the soul is awakened ? Rumi, a  13th Century Sufi teacher, and one of the world’s greatest poets of mystical love, knew of these mysteries of the heart. His verses tell the stories of the soul’s love affair with God, whom the Sufis call the Beloved, the love affair that leads from the pain and anguish of longing until we are reunited with our divine nature. This is the great mystical journey that draws us from ourselves back to our Beloved until

“The Beloved has permeated every cell of my body

Of myself there remains only a name, everything else is Him.”

Beneath all the words is the cry of the heart, the primal cry of the soul separate from God…. and from this longing the lover is turned away from himself back to God, back to the Source. This is the great mystery of Love, the way in which our heart is awakened to its divine nature. Love burns away the impurities that cover our heart and soul, until gradually we begin to taste the truth of who we really are: not a separate self or dysfunctional ego, but part of a cosmic dance in which every cell praises and glorifies God.’                                          Llewellyn Vaughan Lee, a Sufi teacher and author

One of my favourite movies is The Godfather.. I have watched it countless times, and still Im not sure why it fascinates me so much. Here is a video with the  beautiful, haunting soundtrack,  lyrics and photos from the movie: Speak Softly Love  by Andy Williams

Turn on the volume on your computer and enjoy it !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82zt5Fk5YTc

how to slow down and just be

I was struck recently by an article written by Carl Honore, on the subject of slow sex… He writes:

‘The other day a buddy of mine was making love to his new girlfriend when her IPhone beeped with an incoming text message. Like any guy, he hoped she would ignore the alert – or even fail to notice it altogether. The opposite happened. The woman opened her eyes, grabbed the phone from the bedside table and read the message. She then typed out a short reply.

“To be fair, she apologised and suggested we go back to the sex” says my crestfallen friend, ” But it was kind of a mood-killer.”

Two conclusions can be drawn from an anecdote like this. The first is that my friend maybe needs to brush up on his sexual technique. The second is that his girlfriend’s behaviour reveals something alarming about the way we live nowadays. In this media-drenched, mutitasking, always-on age, many of us have forgotten how to unplug and immerse ourselves completely in the moment. We have forgotten how to slow down.’

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carl-honore/in-praise-of-slow-sex_b_322026.html

The reason this article attracted my attention was that this used to happen quite a lot during tantric massage sessions, especially  when mobile phones first became popular. We even had a client who insisted on placing his mobile by his head, because he was always expecting ‘urgent calls.’ You can imagine the interesting situations which arose when the phone would ring at  a particularly inappropriate moment !

I started practicing tantric massage in 1992 and most people didnt have mobile phones or websites in those days – but gradually since then, life has speeded up more and more.

So, how to slow down?  You might think the answer is easy – ie just simply decide to  slow down. But anyone who has seriously tried, knows that it is not that simple. Or you might be one of those people who has become addicted to living at a fast pace, and are asking why should I slow down ?

As Carl Honore says: ‘ Everywhere, people are discovering that doing things more slowly often means doing them better and enjoying them more. It means living life instead of rushing through it.’

There are numerous best-selling  books, workshops, websites, and courses which  teach a wide variety of  ways to slow down, reduce stress, lead more meaningful lives, etc.  At the end of the day,  we each need to re-discover  that ‘still place’ within ourself which has always been there -  Just as a tree just IS  – and offers its flowers and fruit to all – the sages tell us that our fundamental nature is peace, bliss and love – but we identify instead with the busy workings of our mind.

Naturally, you will expect me to say that  a tantric massage at our studio at tantric massage london in kensington, will give you the beautiful experience of totally relaxing into the moment, and will hopefully give you some tools and insights for maintaining that state in the future…..and it is true, it will….. but what else could I suggest….

Personally, I love the poems of the great mystics because poetry can obliquely  give us a taste of  something which is harder to convey in a more straightforward way. It can draw our attention inwards to the peace within, and touch our inner being simply by reading and assimilating the words.  Here is one of my favourites – It is by Ibn Arabi, the great sufi mystic (1165-1240).

Dearly beloved!
I have called you so often and you have not heard Me.
I have shown Myself to you so often and you have not seen Me.
I have made Myself fragrance so often, and you have not smelled Me,
Savorous food, and you have not tasted Me.
Why can you not reach Me through the object you touch
Or breathe Me through sweet perfumes?
Why do you not see Me?  Why do you not hear Me?
Why? Why? Why?
For you My delights surpass all other delights,
And the pleasure I procure you surpasses all other pleasures.
For you I am preferable to all other good things,
I am Beauty, I am Grace
Love Me, love Me alone.
Love yourself in Me, in Me alone.
Attach yourself to Me,
No one is more inward than I.
Others love you for their own sakes,
I love you for yourself.
And you, you flee from Me.

yoni yantra

‘The state we call realization is simply being one’s self, not knowing anything or becoming anything. If one has realized he is that which alone is and which alone has always been; he cannot describe that state, he can only be that. Still it is a wonder that to teach this simple truth, there should come into being so many religions, creeds, methods, and the disputes among them. Oh the pity! Oh the pity!                      Ramana Maharshi

 ’I am a cup caught in the hand of Love. If you dont believe me, look in my eyes. Or better still……. listen to my heart.’                                                                Rumi

One day a devotee asked  Swamiji, ” What is mind control?” Throwing a flower in the air Swamiji answered, “See if my mind goes after the flower and gets glued to it, that is the mind going out of control. If I dont’t allow my mind to go out of control and keep it here – that is mind control. Simple !”                                              Sri Shivabalayogi Maharaj