slow sex

We will be continuing with the theme of slow sex, a term made popular by Carl Honore who has written a book called ‘In Praise of Slowness’ .

But for now, as an introduction and in a lighter vein , do click on the following link and watch this  video, which I think is funny:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1927276

I want a man with a slow hand

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnVOt2LK2Gg

Turn on your volume to listen to the Pointer Sisters……

yoni yantra

‘The state we call realization is simply being one’s self, not knowing anything or becoming anything. If one has realized he is that which alone is and which alone has always been; he cannot describe that state, he can only be that. Still it is a wonder that to teach this simple truth, there should come into being so many religions, creeds, methods, and the disputes among them. Oh the pity! Oh the pity!                      Ramana Maharshi

 ’I am a cup caught in the hand of Love. If you dont believe me, look in my eyes. Or better still……. listen to my heart.’                                                                Rumi

One day a devotee asked  Swamiji, ” What is mind control?” Throwing a flower in the air Swamiji answered, “See if my mind goes after the flower and gets glued to it, that is the mind going out of control. If I dont’t allow my mind to go out of control and keep it here – that is mind control. Simple !”                                              Sri Shivabalayogi Maharaj

je t'aime moi non plus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHiMDB19Dyc

(turn on the volume on your computer)

The majority of people who come to our Tantric Massage Clinic in London, both men and women, come on their own. Sometimes they tell their partner, but the majority do not, because they feel their partner may object, feel jealous, feel insecure, or simply will not understand why they should come to us.

However, we are getting more and more brave couples who come together, as a couple, to enhance the sensual side of their relationship. I call them brave, because it does require courage for a woman to have her partner lie on a massage table, and be aroused to orgasm by another woman, even if that woman is a tantric masseuse. In the same way, it takes courage for a man to admit that he could improve his skills and be taught how to give more pleasure to his wife. And they are also brave because, rather than give up trying to work on their relationship,and come to us secretly, they come openly and united as a couple.

Once the initial step has been taken, and inhibitions and fears have been set aside, and the appointment has been made, couples do feel so many benefits. Here is an email we have received from a couple who visited us recently:

‘Eva and Celeste, I thought I should send a quick thank you for a wonderful time yesterday. Though we were  nervous, both of you have an amazing gift and we really enjoyed the time we spent there. We have already started practising some of the techniques and even ended up making love the same evening…… Again thank you for a great time and it has already started making a difference…….’

We get many similar emails.

So, what actually happens in a tantric massage couples tuition session ?

The sessions are completely tailored to suit each couple – they learn to give one another a tantric massage and get to try out new ideas and experiment with sensual touch.At the beginning, we have a short chat to find out exactly what the couple wants to learn, or whether they have any specific issues or questions.

Usually the woman is the first to receive the massage, while the man joins me in giving the massage. If he likes, he can watch for a little at the beginning and then gradually join me and I can demonstrate different types of techniques. We then swap over, with the man receiving the massage and the woman can join in at any stage. If the partners simply want to just observe the other receiving a massage, that is fine… or if they want a more hands on/lesson approach, where they are more involved, I can go over the strokes with them and make sure that they learn and understand the various techniques and what I do for each phase of the massage.

It is a very relaxed and open environment and couples often find it easier to articulate about what feels good to them and why in a setting with a ‘neutral person’, ie. someone outside of the relationship. Having a ‘neutral’ person there also helps positively with communication, and avoids saying things like ‘why didnt you tell me this before’….. we suggest ways of giving feedback in a positive manner – ie. saying ‘that feels really good’ or ‘ it feels nice this way’ rather than saying ‘that doesnt feel nice.’

Once we actually discover what feels pleasurable, its easy to communicate this to our partner….. the problem often is that people are not really aware of their feelings and sensations at a deeper level… they are so used to falling into old patterns of response, often in order to please their partner, that they lose touch with what really feels good to them. Over time, partners who have been together for years, fall into habits and limit themelves to taking about what has become acceptable or comfortable. It can be quite daunting and hard to instigate conversations about new approaches to intimacy. Partners dont want to hurt or offend or create resentment, suspicion, jealousy or insecurity.

During a tantric massage couples session, both partners are on an ‘even playing field.’  I make sure that there is an open and non-judgmental environment, so that everyone is as comfortable as possible giving/receiving and talking about the massage.

We encourage the partner who is receiving the massage to go deep within, and not feel the need to give feedback or talk at all whilst receiving the massage. Most sexual or sensual situations are focused on someone or something external from ourselves – be it visual, porn, emotional needs, or wanting to give and please. To completely surrender and learn to receive pleasure passively can enable us to actually feel what is going on in our own bodies and experience our inner sensuality at a much deeper level, discarding the usual thoughts of focusing on someone or something else.

A tantric massage  or tuition session for couples can, in this way, contribute to an ongoing sensual journey together, and can provide a new platform for open discussion, communication and the practicing of a different and deeper level of intimacy.

dream lover

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfwMiH7eCpI

(make sure you turn on the sound on your computer)

Tantric Tuition for Women

Little girls are brought up with the romantic  idea that one day they will meet their knight in shining armour, who will sweep her off her feet, love her for ever,  and life will be wonderful  ever after.

We have been spoon-fed these romantic  images, by novels, movies and our culture in general.

But the reality, or the inside stories, reveal something very different going on under the surface.

clark gable

Novels like Lady Chatterley’s lover, which was banned when it was first written, have now been read by most schoolgirls. The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is part of our culture….. as is Walt Disney’s Cinderella singing ‘Some Day My Prince will Come.’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiaYTJohZOE&feature=related

(turn on the volume on your computer)

some day my prince will come

 We all know about the love life of famous politicians like Robert Kennedy, millionaires like Howard Hughes, footballers, starting with the first ‘pop’ footballer George Best, latin lovers like Rudolph Valentino and Clark Gable, and the most famous womanizer of them all, Casanova.

howard hughes

But what is it like being married to these men … They may be able to sweep women off their feet initially, but what happens after that….?

It must be very difficult, if not impossible, for anyone to live up to the the huge expectations which are built up in the minds of both men and women, by our culture.

Fortunately, sex education is prevalent in schools nowadays, and most teenagers know a surprising amount about the mechanics of sex. But does anyone teach them about their emotions, getting in touch with themselves at a deeper level, and learning to communicate in an honest way?

george best

Because of the more complex nature of women’s bodies, emotions and minds, many men view women as somewhat of a mystery, even after having been married to one for many years.

Many women experience difficulty or inability to orgasm, and because this comes as a surprise to the woman herself, she often doesnt understand herself what is happening, and finds it even more difficult to talk about her concerns to her partner.

Here, at Tantric Massage London in Kensington, we offer a safe and supportive space for women to explore and discover their own bodies at a deeper level, and this enables them to communicate more openly with their partner about their needs. It is difficult to tell your partner what your needs are when you yourself are not sure. Many women experience sex or sensual contact as a reaction to a male initiating intimacy, and trying to adjust and respond to whatever pace he sets – which is often too fast for her, and does not allow her to fully relax, surrender and build up the sexual energy in her body to its full potential.

Prior to the massage, I have a short chat with the client, in order to enable her to explain any details she would like to go over, or anything in particular that she would like to focus on, and I tailor the session to suit her. I ensure that she is comfortable enough to be able to verbally or physically guide me and give me feedback if she wishes at any stage of the session. I have found that when a woman is comfortable enough to communicate with me, it not only helps me, but can enable her to discover her own body in a safe, non-judgemental or rushed setting. I combine subtlety, sensitivity and a well-developed intuition, without being too delicate – not every woman likes feather-soft touch, not every woman likes firm touch. It is the finely tuned combination of all types of touch, interwoven in a complete full body massage, that provides the key to our tantric massage and tantric tuition for women.

A woman instinctively knows how to touch a woman and what feels good. Our tantric massage for women is a full body, sensual experience which allows the space and time for a  client to feel her body in a unique and very special way.

There is no need to give back, or to do anything – the idea is to completely surrender into receiving pleasure and there is no pressure or need to perform and please. The tantric masseuse ensures that you are completely comfortable throughout, and has an innate understanding of how to listen and respond to a woman’s body. A combination of soft, light, deep and firm full body strokes, relaxes the body and mind. The sexual energy is awakened and progressively built up, entwining the breasts and yoni(vagina)massage. Speed and pressure  are balanced, to enhance the full body experience and the session is tailored individually for each client. I will respond and work within whatever you are comfortable with. If you are wanting to completely let go and explore your own body – or if you want to go at a different pace – there is no right or wrong way to experience a Tantric Massage.

Sometimes women can “think” themselves to orgasm. As women generally take longer to reach a climax, they may have a tendency to try to hurry it up, and impede the full sexual/sensual potential of their body. By removing the pressure to please the giver, or being pressured to have an orgasm, you can actually focus on opening up to your sexual energy in your own way, at your own pace, with no pressure or need to give back. This may sound self-indulgent to some, but the truth is that  by experiencing your own body at a deeper level, you will have a more tangible reference point from which to communicate or demonstrate your needs to a partner, and this in turn will give him more pleasure. We have found that men are delighted to be told what to do to please their partner, and even more delighted and aroused when they see her really in touch with, and enjoying her own body.